Heaven Must Be Missing an Angel

Tavares
1976

She was such a vision I could barely take my eyes off her. We were at a New York State Assembly Democratic fund-raiser. It was a Wednesday night. Also in attendance was Mario Cuomo, who at that point was running for governor for the first time. The venue was a large ballroom in one of Albany’s many upscale hotels.

I was in my thirties, working hand-in-glove with Assemblyman Mel Zimmer on a number of important pieces of legislation he’d either authored or sponsored. My career in politics, in other words, was not only taking off.  It had managed to find a higher gear.

But back to the fund-raiser. I had two connections that particular night. First, I was a Democrat and, as Mel’s chief of staff, had gotten to know a good number of the party’s movers and shakers.  Secondly, my cousin was working as one of the lead agents on the soon-to-be governor’s security detail.

But even as I was doing my networking and business card-swapping, I happened to notice her out of the corner of one eye. She was on the dance floor, maybe in her mid-to-late 20’s.  As I said, she was a vision. Not too tall, but long and lean. She had brown, straight hair and I’ll be damned if I knew the color of her eyes.  But her dress was blue.  I’ll never forget that.

She didn’t so much dance to the music, as sway to it. As she danced, her smile, like my career, seemed to find a higher gear – which, if possible, only made her look more beautiful. Without realizing what I was doing, I began wheeling my way toward her, before stopping just short of the dance floor, maybe ten or so yards away. A moment later, when the song ended, she returned to her table to catch her breath and, presumably, take a sip of her drink.

Again, before I realized what I was doing, I'd pushed my chair forward and was off to try to say something – anything – to, perhaps, the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.

That’s when it hit me. I had no idea what to say.  A moment of panic wrapped itself around me and sent a chill down my spine, even as my arms continued to propel me toward her with a deep sense of purpose.

A few seconds later, I was there at her tableside. She was alone. When she turned and our eyes met, I gave her one of my patented Irish smiles and let those Irish eyes of mine do what they did best. She smiled a warm hello back to me – and when she did, my heart, I swear, melted. Then, without knowing what else to say, I said the first thing that came to mind.

“I promise. The only thing I can’t do is dance.”

After a good, long beat, it came.  A laugh so pure and so honest it seemed to spring from a place deep within her. Her eyes twinkled as she laughed warmly and openly. And then just as it seemed she might stop, she laughed some more.

“My name is Brian,” I said, now beaming ear-to-ear for having made a woman so captivating and so beautiful laugh so freely. “And I just wanted you to know that.”

“Nice to meet you, Brian,” she answered, matching my smile with one of her own.  “And thank you so much for letting me know," she chuckled as she dabbed at the tears of laughter in the corners of her eyes.  "I’ll keep that in mind," she said warmly and just a trifle breathlessly.  "I promise.”

And that was it.  The moment had passed. She and I smiled our goodbyes and I left.  I never even got her name.  But to this day I’ve never forgotten her, nor have I ever forgotten the song that was playing when she first made my heart flutter.

If fact, even now, as I approach my 75^th trip around the sun, and look back on a life lived as fully as I knew how, I hear this song and I’m transported back to a place and time when all my memories and regrets were still just innocent hopes and dreams.

I wouldn’t trade my choices, my successes and my heartbreaks for anything, my friends. But don’t kid yourself, I’d give almost anything I have right now to feel, just once more, what that young lady made me feel on that wonderful evening so many years ago.

Here’s to you, you little angel, wherever you are.  And thank you for a moment and a laugh that, to this day, still have the ability to warm at least one man's tired old heart.